Hunters x Dares x Insanity
by Melancholem
Summary: You've probably seen 'Truth or Dare' games played for other fanbases...but why not Hunter x Hunter, too? Crazy dares, shocking truths, and possible cosplaying ahead...because we could, hehe!
1. Chapter 1

Joyce: *sleeping soundly on couch* Gngh…bananas…

Pitou: Jo? It's time to wake up…we're on air now, nyah…

Joyce: *jerks awake* I need ten cans of Lysol, a computer, and a fanfiction!

Pitou: …I won't ask then. Nyah.

Joyce: *looks up* OH CRAP, WE'RE ON? Anyway…oh-god-oh-god-_how's-my-hair…?_

Pitou: *sighs* Welcome to Elena Hitachiin's newest pet project, Hunters x Dares x Insanity, hosted by Pitou diAngelo and Joyce Tanaka.

Joyce: …but that's not your name, Cl-

Pitou: *death glare* Shut. Up. Nyah.

Joyce: *squeaks*

Pitou: This is one of the ever-popular 'truth-or-dare' games, usually seen in Ouran fanbases, except Elena Hitachiin had the _brilliant _idea of making one for Hunter x Hunter. The rules are the same – in your reviews, choose one of the characters and then either ask them a question or dare them to do something. It _can _be anything…but please keep it at least PG-13 rated.

Joyce: Elena can't write yaoi.

Pitou: ...you're smart today, Joyce, nyah.

Joyce: I try!~ So without any further what-have-you, let's introduce our players! We've got Gon-

Gon: *walks in, takes one look at the stage, and then begins waving frantically* Hiya! I'm- …wait, how do you know my name? Are you a stalker? DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?

Joyce: *ignores the shaking Gon* Killua-

Killua: *walks on silently and goes to stand by Gon* This is stupid.

Gon: Killua, I'm scared!

Joyce: Kurapika- and Leorio, I guess-

Kurapika: *being pushed on stage by Leorio* I-I don't want to do this! What if something bad happens, or Kuroro sees me, or the Spiders attack something and I'm not around to kill them?

Leorio: It'll be fine…

Pitou: *butts in* The entire Phantom Troupe, and the Zaoldyeck family as well, nyah-

Kurapika: *sees Kuroro* SPIDER! AHH! *eyes go red, chains appear*

Leorio: *struggles to restrain Kurapika*

Kuroro: Hey.

Shizuku: …the blonde one looks familiar, doesn't he? Like maybe we've seen him before?

Everyone in the room: Not again…

Illumi: *spots Killua and Gon* Ah, Killua, I see your friend is still alive and well. Maybe I'll have to change that today~

Killua: Don't you dare!

Hisoka: Illumi, if you do I'll kill you.

Pitou: Oh, and Hisoka too, nyah…

Hisoka: Ringo-chan, I missed you~

Gon: Hisoka! It's good to see you again!

Everyone besides Gon, Hisoka, and Illumi: *involuntary shudder*

Pitou: …a-and some of the other Hunter Examinees-

Pokkle, Ponzu, Hanzo: *walk onstage*

Hanzo: Ah, the lights, the excitement, the stage~ *giddy twirl* I always wanted to be a dancer when I was young, before I was a ninja~

Pokkle: …eurgh. Do that somewhere else.

Joyce: *interrupts again* Neon, Senritsu, and…wait, why does it say 'Chimera Ants' on here?

Pitou: …oops. I forgot to tell you about that, nyah. That might be a problem.

Kalluto: *lets out a high-pitched scream* Mommy, there are scary things at the door!

Nefelpitou: *sadistic grin* Look at all the people here, Pouf! I could kill them all, and it'd be so much fun, nyah~

Shaiapouf: Please don't. Last time, you got blood in my hair…

Neon: *walks in, sees Nefelpitou, and screams* Eww! What _is _it?

Joyce: Waah! It's chaos in here!

Pitou: And there're two Pitou's here! *looks close to tears*

Joyce: …either way, the show must go on! So, you (the readers) can submit your truths and dares for these characters in your reviews, and if you MUST- *squints at fine print on contract* you can either come onto the show to give dares or give us – the hosts – truths and dares as well.

Pitou: *sniffling* Please leave truths and dares for the story, nyah! Otherwise it'll have to be…abandoned…

Joyce: We'll see you next time, we hope!

---

...you heard the nice OC. Review, please, because this time IT COUNTS! It does!

And you can leave anonymous ones, too. I'll still take the truth or dare, darlings~

That's all for now! Also, if you want to give a truth-or-dare to a character not mentioned on here, just mention who they are. I guarantee I'll be able to work them in somehow, nyah!


	2. Round 1: Dresses x Fanservice x Hetalia

…oh my giddy aunt's trousers, thank you all _so _much for reviewing and leaving dares. I was worried that no one would review…and I'd be alone…

Muchos gracias and also three times yessssss to my three wonderful reviewers (Florallover, s.e.c.r.e.t., and yukikittycatofwisdom) and I hope they know that they made my day happier…

But to s.e.c.r.e.t.: _who are you?_

I'll only assassinate you if you _don't tell me!_

(Besides, the truths/dares were absolute _love. _I'll do them all, don't worry~)

Okay, on with the first official round of Hunters x Dares x Insanity!

---

Joyce: *tries to get everyone to shut up* Guys…! The show is starting!

Pitou: …you're doing it wrong. _Everybody shut the hell up!_

Everyone: *goes silent*

Pitou: Good, nyah! Now…first orders of business are Truths! So…I need to see Gon, Leorio, Kurapika, Hisoka, Killua, Kikyo, and…Neon up here now, please!

Neon: *examining fingernails* I wonder if I won something again? I hope it's more money~

Leorio: *shoots glance at Kikyo and Hisoka* Why did Elena invite _them _on the show…?

Pitou: *hands Truth cards off to Joyce* You can do the honors, nyah.

Joyce: *accepts cards* Okay! So first, to Kurapika, we have a message from Florallover to you…

Kurapika: Alright, I guess. So what is it?

Joyce: *hands card to Pitou* You wanna tell him?

Pitou: I'd love to, nyah~ So, without further ado, a song of _love~_

_Oh my pretty, pretty boy I love you,  
never ever loves no one, before you...  
Pretty, pretty boy of mine,  
just tell me you love me too...  
Oh my pretty, pretty boy I need you, oh my,  
pretty, pretty boy I do,  
let me inside,  
let me stay,  
right beside you~_

Pitou: Ta-dah! So…that was the message, nyah! *brushes off skirt and bows*

Everyone in room: *breaks into applause*

Kurapika: *still in shock* So she wrote me a song?

Pitou: *hits him on head with Truth card* You should be more grateful. She wrote you a _song, _you know~

Joyce: Anyway…Kurapika, you've got one more Truth, from s.e.c.r.e.t.

Nefelpitou: *from corner of room* It's a _secret_...nyah!~

Joyce: …what color underwear have you got on, then?

Kurapika: *goes silent* I won't tell you that, not even if-

Kuroro: *tackles Kurapika onto the floor and pulls down his pants* Ha…pink ones with spiders on 'em!

Everyone in room: *gasps*

Kurapika: *eyes – and face – go bright red* GET OFF OF ME!

Kuroro: *laughing too hard to breathe*

Joyce: All right, you've had your fun. *pulls the laughing Kuroro off of Kurapika* We've got one for Hisoka: Why are you so messed up?

Hisoka: *dark chuckle* I was raised in the circus.

Joyce: *shudders violently* Anyway...next set of Truths are for…Gon!

Gon: *runs over and falls onto couch* Whee! Do I get to answer questions, then? Yay, this'll be fun!

Pitou: *grabs Truth card* From Florallover: What would you do if in the end you don't get to meet with your dad?

Gon: *face falls* Not…meet…Ging? But…but...I have to meet him!

Pitou: …but if you couldn't, what would you do?

Gon: I'd go back to Whale Island and try again later! *determined expression*

Pitou: But you _can't, _you moronic – never mind. Next Truth, from s.e.c.r.e.t.-

Joyce: *grabs card* So let's say you get Kite back to normal in exchange for shaving off your hair and keeping it bald for 5 years minimum. Would you do it?

Gon: Of course! Kite can help me find my dad, and I could just wear a wig~

Pitou: But you _can't, _nyah…

Joyce: *puts hand on Pitou's arm* Don't start this again.

Nefelpitou: *from the corner again* I've got your Kaito, and he's my favorite weapon, nyah~

Gon: *tries to kill Nefelpitou*

Joyce: Next set of Truths are for Killua! So, Killua, a question from Florallover: If one day you are stronger than Illumi, will you kill him?

Killua: Yeah. That sounds good…*glares at Illumi*

Illumi: *steps behind Hisoka to avoid the glare*

Joyce: …and last, from s.e.c.r.e.t.: Would you rather talk about the honest admiring teenage!crushy feelings you have towards Gon for – fifteen minutes – on a special news flash live TV shown worldwide, or get breast implants? Pick no more or less than one, please. (No sliding here!)

Killua: *eyes grow huge* Whaa…?

Gon and the rest of the Zaoldyecks: *lean forward to hear his answer*

Killua: *turns bright red* Umm…uh, I guess I'd have to say…the first one.

Joyce: *turns to Kikyo* So, your Truth is-

Kikyo: NOOOOO! *dive-bombs Killua* You can't love that brown-haired idiot! You mustn't! Killua…where did I go wrong…?

Joyce: …and she's answered her Truth already.

Pitou: Really, nyah? Anyway, to Leorio from Florallover: Do you have a sister?

Leorio: Yeah, back home…she was annoying. One time she bit my arm, and…*starts rambling*

Pitou: And last Truth of the night is for Neon, also from Florallover: Would you join the Fear Factor if it means you can win lots of money…?

Neon: Money? Yeah, money! Wait…Fear Factor? Like eating bugs and nasty things?

Pitou: Yep~

Neon: Money…bugs…money…bugs…*starts rocking back and forth and shuddering*

Pitou: …I think she's lost it, nyah. So…on to Dares, all of which are from s.e.c.r.e.t. and yukikittycatofwisdom!

Joyce: *grabs cards* First, we have Kurapika again…this one's from s.e.c.r.e.t. You're the pretty boy of the group. Please give us that fancy bishounen hair flip and smile, then say some nice romantic words to melt the female audience's hearts.

Kurapika: *embarrassed* Um…I love everyone? *flips hair and does an irresistible little smile*

Joyce: *melts*

Pitou: *manages to save the cards* Okay, one more, and these are from yukikittycatofwisdom: I have two for YOU! One: put on one of NEON'S DRESSES! And two: hug Kuroro for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!

Kurapika: *eyes go red again*

Pitou: *snaps fingers* Gon, Killua! Take him into the dressing room and put this on him, right?

Gon: Okay! Come on, Kurapika! *drags him off*

Pitou: While we wait, one for Leolio-

Leorio: That's _Leorio, _idiot-

Pitou: And it's from yukikittycatofwisdom. Pat Illumi's head without getting killed~

Leorio: What? That's impossible! It's a death wish! How could I-

Pitou: Do it.

Leorio: Yes ma'am. *shuffles over to Illumi and gingerly pats him on the head* Wow, I'm not dead! And your hair is really soft, like-

Illumi: *grabs Leorio's wrist and flips him backwards onto the floor*

Pokkle: Eeh! *tries to dodge the flying Leorio…but isn't fast enough*

Pitou: *almost dies from laughing too hard*

Joyce: *manages to wake up* Nngh…is Kurapika back yet? *takes cards from Pitou*

Gon, Killua, Kurapika: *come into room*

Joyce: Oh. My. God. So kawaii!~

Kurapika: *in skintight pink dress* I feel violated…

Joyce: And now…go hug Kuroro. For _five minutes, _hehe.

Kurapika: *shuffles over to Kuroro and hugs him*

Everyone in room: Aww~

Joyce: And now, a dare for Gon and Killua…sing the Elmo's World song!

Killua: ...why?

Gon: Okay, let's do it! *clears throat*

_La,la,la,la  
La,la,la,la _

_Elmo's World  
La,la,la,la  
La,la,la,la_

_Elmo's World  
Elmo loves his goldfish  
His crayon, too  
That's Elmo's World~_

Gon: Hehe, that was fun! I like that song!

Joyce: Next, to Hanzo: Don't talk for ten minutes!

Hanzo: But I- nn! *looks like he's about to cry*

Joyce: And one for you, Nefelpitou…

Nefelpitou: *springs out of corner with Dr. Blythe and Kaito* Really? What is it?

Joyce: Please apologize to Gon for what you did to Kite, then hug and kiss him on the cheek!

Nefelpitou and Gon: *horrified glances*

Nefelpitou: Um, Gon, nyah…

Gon: Y-yeah?

Nefelpitou: I'm sorry. *scuffs foot*

Gon: O-oh. It's okay.

Nefelpitou: *runs over to Gon and gives him a quick hug…and then kisses him*

Pokkle: *passes out*

Ponzu, Kikyo, Senritsu, Neon, Shizuku, Machi, Paku, Kalluto, and Joyce: *fangirl bliss*

Pitou: *stirs awake* I feel better after my nap, nyah! So what'd I miss? *sees Nefelpitou and Gon* Oh…but we have more dares to attend to! So, Pouf darling – there's a dare for you!

Shaiapouf: *looks scandalized* Is there?

Pitou: Yup. I know you just love the viola, but isn't that kind of old-fashioned? Please do an electric guitar solo for us, with yourself singing to it. Lyrics will be your current feelings, whatever comes from the bottom of your heart (ANYTHING).

Shaiapouf: *puts viola down and accepts electric guitar* I only do this for my King~ *misty eyes*

Pitou: Oh, god…

Shaiapouf: *strikes pose*

_"Oi Supein! Kotoshi mo tomato ga takusan toreta zo, kono yaro!"_

_Buono! Tomato buono tomato,_

_Buono, buono, ooh! Tomato!_

_Aka agete midori sagete!?_

_Tomato-mato-mato, hn._

_Pasuta ni wa tomato daro_

_Pissha ni mo tomato daro_

_Miwaku no akai tesoro_

_Tomato daisuki_

_Demo_

_Vurusuto ya jagaimo nanka jadou da_

_Otouto mo tabedashite muki-muki-muki-mu_

_Naporitan wa nihon ryouri nanda kono yaro!_

_"Hyaaaaa! Furansu da! Mamore! Kon chikushou me!"_

_"Hitori ni suruna yo kono yaro..."_

_Kimi ni mo hitotsu ageru _

_Kirei nano hitotsu ageru_

_Oishii tomato tabete _

_Boku to odorou (Amore!)_

_Buono! Tomato buono tomato,_

_Buono, buono, ooh! Tomato!_

_Chi vediamo! Aa, Romano!_

_Minami Itaria!_

Pitou: Ah, the Delicious Tomato Song~

Shaiapouf: *looks confused* What was that? I didn't even start singing, when all of a sudden-

Pitou: *hides radio* Nothing, don't worry. Next is Hanzo and Hisoka…slow dance together!

Hanzo: *tries to speak, but can't*

Hisoka: *chuckles evilly*

Pitou: Let's see some dancing, then!

Hisoka and Hanzo: *start waltzing*

Pitou: Beautiful~ But you've gotta stop now!

Hanzo: Mmp-

Hisoka: Why?

Pitou: Go take Illumi backstage and eat some muffins together, right, nyah?

Hisoka: Very well. Come on, Illumi~

Illumi: *follows*

Pitou: And we're running out of time, so a quick one for Kuroro: Follow them and record what they do, okay?

Kuroro: Right! *disentangles self from Kurapika*

Pitou: And before you go…throw your jacket into the audience. And tell Kurapika that you love him.

Kuroro: *throws jacket into audience and looks into Kurapika's eyes* I…love you. *runs backstage*

Kurapika: *tries to follow*

Pitou: See you next time, nyah!

---

Remind me that I owe yukikittycatofwisdom the Truths I forgot to get to, alright?

Review please! I'm always open to more Truths, Dares, and guests…

And remember, Shaiapouf is South Italy, amrite?

Later!


	3. Round 2: Emo Corner x Secret x True Love

Second chapter of Hunter x Dares x Insanity! Are you excited? 'Cause I'm excited.

Thanks again to yukikittycatofwisdom, Florallover, and s.e.c.r.e.t, but also thank you to gon123abc and ladyeiramae, as well as…perhaps not the author? I have no idea who that is~ *shifty eyes*

I'm so excited, I can't feel my face! And you?

On with the story, amrite?

---

Pitou: *shifting from foot to foot* When'll Kuroro get back, nyah…?

Joyce: I dunno. I hope Hisoka didn't kill him…

Pitou: In case you've all forgotten, Illumi and Hisoka are eating muffins backstage, and Kuroro's filming them.

Kuroro: *opens door from backstage* I…got…it…*shoves camera at Pitou*

Pitou: Let's watch, then! *plugs camera into TV and turns it on*

Everyone in room: *watching intently as the video starts playing*

Joyce: *looks horrified* Pitou…are they making out?

Pitou: Shh, shh! I love this part!

Joyce: *passes out*

Ponzu: *taps Pitou on shoulder* The Truth cards just arrived, Clara…

Pitou: *shrieks* NOT CLARA!

Ponzu: Sorry, sorry! *drops cards and runs*

Pitou: …anyway. I need to see Kurapika, Gon, Killua, Leorio, Hisoka, Hanzo, Kuroro, Franklin, Kalluto, and Senritsu up here, please, nyah!

Senritsu: But…why me?

Pitou: Okay, first I've got a Truth for Kurapika, from yukikittycatofwisdom! So…are you _sure _you're not a girl…?

Kurapika: *almost starts crying* Of course I'm not! Why does everyone ask me that…?

Pitou: Heh, don't cry just yet. You've got another Truth from ladyeiramae! If you would have to choose to be bound forever with one person, who would you choose? Hisoka or Kuroro?

Kurapika: *eyes drop to floor and mad blush appears on face* Well…

Pitou: Say it…

Kurapika: …Kuroro.

Every girl in the room (including Joyce and Kikyo): AWW! ~

Kuroro: *blushes too* Uhm…thanks, Kuruta…

Joyce: *gets up* One more Truth, from gon123abc: Would you rather be Hisoka's slave for an hour or wear a bikini?

Kurapika: The bikini. *walks off stage looking frightened*

Joyce: Okay, Killu-pon-chan, one for you from yukikittycatofwisdom: Is that your _natural _hair color?

Killua: Yeah! *looks slightly guilty*

Kikyo: *from Nefelpitou's emo corner* No it's not…it's black like the rest of ours.

Killua: MOM!

Joyce: Scandal~ Anyway, another one from ladyeiramae: Which would you choose: YOUR lifetime supply of the world's finest chocolate or your friendship with Gon?

Killua: *pleading glance at Gon* I'd have to say the chocolate…

Gon: *goes over to Nefelpitou's emo corner and sits down next to Kikyo and Ponzu* Hi, guys…

Kikyo, Ponzu, Nefelpitou: …hey.

Joyce: Just one more, Killu! Hang in there! From gon123abc: What's your eye color?

Killua: Purple sometimes, but other times it's blue…

Joyce: That is all. Bai bai~

Pitou: Okay, Gon, get outta the emo corner! I've got a Truth for you, from yukikittycatofwisdom! Is that fishing pole really made out of wood? I mean, if Kura-chan's SWORD broke during the Hunter Exam, then so would a little FISHING ROD!

Gon: Actually, it's made of bulletproof glass and metal rods, with titanium inlay and…*rambles onwards*

Hisoka: My Ringo-chan was cheating. Waah~

Pitou: Next, from ladyeiramae: If you were given the chance to meet Ging for 30 seconds ONLY, what would you say to him?

Gon: I'd tell him that I want to be just like him and that…hang on, wait, only thirty seconds to be with my dad? *shuddering sob*

Pitou: …drama king.

Gon: *sticks out tongue* _Clara diAngelo._

Pitou:** …who told you my real name?**

Gon: *hides*

Pitou: *stalks offstage*

Joyce: Wait, Pitou-san…! I can't do this alone!

Pokkle: Joyce! There's someone at the door!

Joyce: Then answer it, fast-fast-fast!

Pokkle: *opens door, then steps back in shock as a shadowy figure walks into room*

Joyce: …hello?

Shadowy figure: _This is the author of the story. Gon, you messed up the entire show by saying Pitou's real name. Go get her back…now._

Gon: Eep! Y-yes, ma'am!

Shadowy figure: _I'm leaving now. Don't mess up again…nyah. _*walks out of room*

Everyone: *sighs in relief*

Joyce: Gon! Before you leave, just answer me this: If you could only save one of your friends, which would you save? Killua, Kurapika, or Leorio?

Gon: Oh, that's easy! I'd choose Killua!

Kurapika and Leorio: *slink off to emo corner*

Joyce: Leorio! Come back!

Leorio: …what?

Joyce: If you had to marry either Killua or Hisoka or you'd die, which would you pick?

Leorio: *shudders* Kill me then.

Pitou: *comes back into room and hefts shotgun over shoulder* Gladly!

Leorio: EEK! *ducks instinctively*

Pitou: *takes Truth cards* So, say you are stranded on an island and there is no way, Nen or no Nen, that can help you to get out of it. Who would you rather spend time with? Killua or Tonpa?

Leorio: Well, that one's easy. I'd rather spend time with Killua.

Killua: *shoots Leorio a glance* Oh really, _old man?_

Leorio: Never mind, make that Tonpa.

Pitou: And one more…what was your first impression of... HANZO!?

Leorio: *bursts into laughter*

Pitou: Fine, don't give me a straight answer, then!

Hanzo: *struts over and speaks with a lisp* Ex_cuse _me? What was your first impression of me, Leorio?

Leorio: *laughing too hard to breathe*

Pitou: Oh, Hanzo! How could you want to be a dancer before a ninja if you said you started training as a BABY!? LIAR!

Hanzo: Yes, I'm a liar. I just didn't want to come out of the closet yet- oops…

Everyone in room: *stunned silence*

Joyce: *tries not to laugh…but fails* Pfff…ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Pitou: *ignores this* Kuroro, would Kurapika look better in that receptionist outfit or one of Neon's REVEALING dresses?

Kuroro: The second one.

Kurapika: *blushes* Shameless pervert…

Kuroro: But you would~

Joyce: Speaking of perverts…Hisoka, if Gon had not been around, who among the hunter examinees would become your target?

Hisoka: *looks over at Killua* How would a white apple taste…?

Everyone in room: *shudders*

Joyce: And now, on to Dares-

Shadowy figure: *appears in middle of room* _You forgot to mention some of the other Truths. To Franklin: Why did you join the Phantom Troupe?_

Franklin: *stunned silence*

Joyce: Waah! *shrinks back*

Kalluto: *runs to Kikyo*

Illumi: *hides behind Hisoka*

Kurapika: *leaps into a shocked Kuroro's arms and buries his face in his jacket*

Franklin: Uh…because…*shoots glance at Shizuku*

Shadowy figure: _You just wanted to keep her safe, then? Did you…know her before you joined?_

Franklin: Yeah. But she had forgotten me by then. We used to be in love…

Shadowy figure: _Such a shame. To Kalluto: Why do you wear girls' clothes all the time?_

Kalluto: Waah, Mommy! It talked to me!

Kikyo: I didn't raise you to be a weakling – answer it!

Kalluto: Um, uh, uhm, well…because Mommy said she really wanted a girl instead of a boy, so- *Kikyo claps hand over his mouth*

Shadowy figure: _I see, nyah. To Senritsu: What'd you use to look like, before you listened to the Sonata?_

Senritsu: *pulls out picture wordlessly and hands it to the figure*

Shadowy figure: *eyes widen* _Oh, nyah…Kitty-chan was right._

Senritsu: *accepts picture and puts it away neatly*

Shadowy figure: *disappears*

Joyce: Okay…can we get onto Dares now?

Pitou: First dare is for Kurapika! You have to hold a giant tarantula for five minutes on one hand and Kuroro's hand on the other.

Kurapika: *almost cries*

Pitou: Do it~

Kurapika: *hesitantly takes Kuroro's hand and allows a tarantula to be put on his other hand* I hate you, you know…

Pitou: Love you too, Pika. Kuroro, a dare for you too: sing Kurapika a love song!

Kurapika: *eyes glow red, chains appear*

Kuroro: I value my life, thanks.

Pitou: Party pooper. *sticks out tongue* Next dare…Gon, go get Nefelpitou to revive Uvogin! It's ARM WRESTLING TIME! *jumps on table, cat-ear headband falls off*

Gon: Whaa…?

Pitou: *looks smug* You heard me. Hop to! ~

Gon: *shuffles off*

Joyce: My turn! Hisoka…go pull five strands of hair off of Illumi's head!

Hisoka: Nooooo~ I can't! My poor Illu-lu's head will be _marred!_

Joyce: I don't care, just do it!

Hisoka: Illumi, I'm sorry! *pulls out hairs*

Illumi: *yelps* Ow, that hurt! I mean…uh…

Kikyo: WHAT? You're an assassin but you can't stand a little pain? What ARE you?

Illumi: *starts sobbing* I'm _sorry!_

Hisoka: *hugs Illumi*

Everyone in room: Aww~

Joyce: Shizuku, there's a dare here for you, too!

Shizuku: Is there? *pushes up glasses*

Joyce: You have to win a memory game…against Pakunoda.

Shizuku: Oh…which one's Pakunoda?

Entire Phantom Troupe and Kurapika: *eye roll* Hopeless…

Pitou: NEXT! Okay, Kuroro, come over here and get your costume!

Kuroro: …costume?

Pitou: Yep. For the next three episodes, you have to act like Robin Hood!

Kuroro: What? _Robin Hood?_

Pitou: Do it.

Kuroro: Y-yes, ma'am.

Pitou: *watches him go into changing room* I used to love that movie…with the foxes and the lions, remember?

Joyce: Oh…Disney?

Pitou: Yup. Hey, Kurapika, your dare is-

Kurapika: *lets out girly shriek and falls to floor*

Pitou: …are you a mind reader? You just did your dare!

Kurapika: T-the spider's going up my shirt! Get it off me NOW!

Pitou: Oh. Hey, Gon, c'mere~

Gon: Oh! A dare, ne? What is it?

Pitou: Read this. *hands Gon a porn magazine*

Gon: *opens magazine and screams* Eww, what is _that…? _*throws magazine*

Pitou: Wahahahaha!

Kuroro: *comes out of changing room in Robin Hood costume* Well?

Pakunoda: *laughs hysterically*

Feitan: My eyes! *dives towards the emo corner*

Joyce: Gon, there's someone at the door for you! She has a dare~

Gon: Another dare…? Oh, god…*opens door cautiously*

gon123abc: HUG ME~!

Gon: Uhh…

Pitou: It's your dare, stupid!

Gon: Okay then, that's not too hard! *hugs gon123abc*

gon123abc: Ah~ *melts happily*

Joyce: Killua, would you come here? *stands by audience section*

Killua: Sure…

Joyce: *pushes Killua into crowd* Hehe, crowd surf! Illumi…go save him?

Illumi: Can Hisoka come too?

Joyce: …why not. But Hisoka – take off your makeup!

Hisoka: *whips out cards* Never.

Joyce: Illumi…will you sow him a dress for when he decides to?

Illumi: *whips out needles* No.

Joyce: *hiding in emo corner* Jeez…!

Shadowy figure: *appears in middle of room* _We've run out of time again. We need to end the show now…_

Pitou: Come back next time for the rest of our dares, okay? Bye!

---

So…how was it?

Please review more!

And to ladyeiramae, Florallover, and gon123abc…the dares of yours that I either missed or didn't elaborate on will be answered in the next chapter!

And to…perhaps not the author, you are one amazing chick. With the best ideas ever, nyah~

Huh huh huh. Even though I don't know who you are…or anything.

Okay, I promise I'll update real soon!

(Quick note...did you know that this is my longest story so far, with over 3,000 words and a long-term continuation plan? Wow...you guys are special! I actually care about this little fic, surprise surprise~)


	4. Extra: Butterfly x Pitbull x Trauma

**Shadowy figure: Dear darling readers, who I must admit, I love…I've got some news for you. Er, yeah…bad news. This story – well, it's not exactly on hiatus, but _god_ I've got so many truths and dares to do!**

**Ahem.**

**I'd like to ask you all to cut your truths and dares short for now – by all means review, but if you give me more material, it takes me longer to update…**

**I'll probably have special chapters for the songs, too. _Just_ the songs, amrite?**

**This won't be the end, I promise! However, another issue I should address is when this will end. After ten rounds, I'm quitting for good. Unless, of course, there's high demand for me to keep going…maybe you can change my mind.**

**In the meantime, I'm working on Round 3! Please tell me - I'm adding new OC hosts, so which pair do you want?**

**- Nathan/Natalie (twins)**

**- Matthew/Alice (complete strangers)**

**- Valentina/Dona (friends)**

**- Alistair/Christian (friends)**

**- Blueprint/Cliche (siblings)**

**- Anastasia/Drew (OCs for a different fanbase)**

**- Toma/Megan (sisters)**

**- Other (you...? your OCs...?)**

**And as for this updating business...**

**I…I'm kind of scared for my life now…**

**Please don't kill me, dear darling readers!**

**Here! This can be considered a Round 2.5 – Butterfly x Pitbull x Trauma!**

---

(The studio is completely empty except for Kurapika, Neon, and Pitou's understudy, Matthew. It's a Saturday, amrite?)

Kurapika: *setting up stage, wearing a hoodie and jeans* Neon, are you ready yet?

Neon: *fixing hair into a vaguely Hannah- Montana-ish style* Yeah, yeah, I guess so. But I've got to – alright, where's my mic?

Matthew: *throws mic, then disappears into shadows, embarrassed*

Neon: Ready?

Kurapika: *picks up guitar* Yep…

Neon:

_I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan__  
Welcome to the land of fame, excess, whoa, am I gotta fit in?  
Jumped in the cab, here I am for the first time  
Look to my right, and I see the Hollywood sign  
This is all so crazy, everybody seems so famous  
My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda homesick  
Too much pressure and I'm nervous  
That's when the taxi man turned on the radio  
And the __Jay-Z__ song was on  
And the Jay-Z song was on  
And the Jay-Z song was on  
So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song  
The butterflies fly away  
I'm noddin' my head like "Yeah!"  
Movin' my hips like "Yeah!"  
Got my hands up, they're playin' my song  
And now I'm gonna be okay  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Get to the club in my taxi cab  
Everybody's lookin' at me now  
Like "Who's that chick that's rockin' kicks  
She's gotta be from out of town"  
So hard with my girls not around me  
It's definitely not a York Shin party  
'Cause all I see are stilettos  
I guess I never got the memo  
My tummy's turnin' and I'm feelin' kinda homesick  
Too much pressure and I'm nervous  
That's when the DJ dropped my favorite tune  
And the Britney song was on  
And the Britney song was on  
And the Britney song was on  
So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song  
The butterflies fly away  
I'm noddin' my head like "Yeah!"  
Movin' my hips like "Yeah!"  
Got my hands up, they're playin' my song  
And now I'm gonna be okay  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Feel like hoppin' on a flight, on a flight  
Back to my __hometown__ tonight, town tonight  
Something stops me every time, every time  
The DJ plays my song and I feel alright  
So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song  
The butterflies fly away  
I'm noddin' my head like "Yeah!"  
Movin' my hips like "Yeah!"  
Got my hands up, they're playin' my song  
And now I'm gonna be okay  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
So I put my hands up, they're playin' my song  
The butterflies fly away  
I'm noddin' my head like "Yeah!"  
Movin' my hips like "Yeah!"  
Got my hands up, they're playin' my song  
And now I'm gonna be okay  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !  
Yeah! It's a party in the USA !_

Kurapika: *sighs and drops guitar* I hate pop music…

Neon: *strikes pose* Me and Miley are _so _alike~!

Kurapika: *rolls eyes, starts walking away with hood up*

Matthew: *comes back out of shadows leading Kuroro (in Robin Hood attire) by the hand* Y-you've got one more, Kurapika, d-don't leave.

Kuroro: *accepts mic* Thanks, Neon…

Kurapika: Oh, god…

Kuroro: Dance for me, you're supposed to!

_Haha  
It's Mr. 305 checkin' in for the remix,  
You know that S 75 Street Brazil ?  
Well this year gon be called Calle Ocho,  
Hahahaha  
Que ola cata, Que ola omega  
And this how we gon do it  
Dale,  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
(Hahaha)  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
6 to tha clock, on my way to the top uh,  
Pit got it locked from brews to the locker,  
All I.P uh, big and packer,  
That he's not, but damn he's hot,  
Label fly but Pit wont stop,  
Got her in the car, quit playin' with his (Como?)  
Watch him make a movie like Alba Hitch Hock, ha Enjoy Me  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
Mami got an ass like a donkey, with a monkey,  
Look like __King Kong__, welcome to the crib,  
305 that's what it is,  
With a woman down ya shit don't play games,  
They up the chain, and they let her do everything and anything, hit the thing  
And they love it gettin' it in, gettin' on,  
All night long (Dale)  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
Baby you can get it, if you win it we can play,  
Baby I got cribs, I got condos we can stay,  
Even got a king size mattress we can lay,  
Baby I don't care, I don't care, what they say  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me (want me)  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
__Rumba__ (Si)  
Ella quiere su Rumba (Como?)  
__Rumba (Si)  
Ella quiere su Rumba ( Como ?)  
Si es verdad que tu ere guapa,  
Yo te voy a poner gozar  
Tu tiene la boca grande  
Dale ponte a jugar ( Como )  
One-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro!_

Kurapika: *twitches slightly* All that Spanish…you didn't…

Kuroro: *blinding beam* I did~

Kurapika: I-I've been verbally raped! *runs offstage*

Kuroro: *follows*

Matthew: *falls over with look of shock on face* H-hopefully things will be less…traumatizing here later…

---

**Shadowy figure: Hopefully this helps! Please, don't murder me…**

**This fulfills the dares created by gon123abc and ..kurapika, so…yeah.**

**I'll be back in December, with a new chapter – Snow x Kisses x Crossover! (And about that crossover – let's just say Italy !Shaiapouf and Italy !Lovino/Romano may or may not get in a smackdown. Complete with characters from both fanbases~)**

**Until then, you can review – songs are fine for now, but _no dares/truths_ – and you can PM me! I'd love to talk with you guys through this fic, but…I'd get shot.**

**And to ladyeiramae – Kortopi's a guy.**

**I love you all!**


End file.
